Bugger.
Won't go into it. Just won't. Silliest, most inexplicable bloody thing. But we didn't go to Belgium. Or bed.
Went to Boscombe.
(see title.)
Monday, February 04, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Pantsman pax 'em out.
Pantsman pax 'em out.
I'm just trying out my ability with tabloid headlines. Not a bad one there, maybe. The reason I think of the gussett troubles of the Beeb's biggest news anchor is twofold:
1, we were remarking only moments before we heard the news of Jeremy's already-infamous letter to the hitherto-be-shining-armoured Sir Stuart Rose – branding smarty-pants – that my recent purchases from the M&S Symmetrical & Only Vaguely-Defined Men's department were worryingly thin of fibre. Soft, I mark you. But disturbingly opaque. Bad timing to have tried white ones for the first time in twenty years…
2, my energy levels are pants. And thin. And worn-through.
A deadline-buried weekend just about floored me by the time Caroline and I were driving up to Horsham yesterday. The road was a blur. I found no reserves of personality to offer loved ones as we entered the crowded church in the old town. And as the funeral of another member of our wider family rolled past us in the pews, I wondered how to contribute anything to those we were standing with. I could barely stand for sudden fatigue.
David was an inspiration. A big smile of wisdom. To be there felt like a great privilege – but I felt only there in body.
Now, back so soon with another deadline to battle through before tomorrow morning, I am dreaming of time off. Time free. Time to think. Time to regenerate some creativity. Because I can sense things to be done coming our way – perhaps good things. But I just want to crawl under a rock at the moment.
Just a few days of french cafés and sketching. No deadlines. No schedule. That's all it might take. Because I still feel a little overwhelmed by the people around me; their care and love.
So I guess, after all, I'm saying that I don't think I'm in need of any extra support – I just don't want to be quite so on show for a little while.
I'm just trying out my ability with tabloid headlines. Not a bad one there, maybe. The reason I think of the gussett troubles of the Beeb's biggest news anchor is twofold:
1, we were remarking only moments before we heard the news of Jeremy's already-infamous letter to the hitherto-be-shining-armoured Sir Stuart Rose – branding smarty-pants – that my recent purchases from the M&S Symmetrical & Only Vaguely-Defined Men's department were worryingly thin of fibre. Soft, I mark you. But disturbingly opaque. Bad timing to have tried white ones for the first time in twenty years…
2, my energy levels are pants. And thin. And worn-through.
A deadline-buried weekend just about floored me by the time Caroline and I were driving up to Horsham yesterday. The road was a blur. I found no reserves of personality to offer loved ones as we entered the crowded church in the old town. And as the funeral of another member of our wider family rolled past us in the pews, I wondered how to contribute anything to those we were standing with. I could barely stand for sudden fatigue.
David was an inspiration. A big smile of wisdom. To be there felt like a great privilege – but I felt only there in body.
Now, back so soon with another deadline to battle through before tomorrow morning, I am dreaming of time off. Time free. Time to think. Time to regenerate some creativity. Because I can sense things to be done coming our way – perhaps good things. But I just want to crawl under a rock at the moment.
Just a few days of french cafés and sketching. No deadlines. No schedule. That's all it might take. Because I still feel a little overwhelmed by the people around me; their care and love.
So I guess, after all, I'm saying that I don't think I'm in need of any extra support – I just don't want to be quite so on show for a little while.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Back to normal.
Back to normal.
Are we? Don't know, really. Momo's ramped up to speed this week, which is good, I guess. And Caroline's back at college; the upshot of both being that we locked ourselves into the studio again lastnight with Pete, Annie and a fruity Rioja to try and Stay On It. Or perhaps, Get Down On It. All very nice; very funky and productive even, but we had to draw the line at Kissy Sell Out, who kept shouting at us how much the tunes he was playing from only about a year ago reminded him of school… Yep, I'll concede you can only listen to Radio One for so long, even on a Friday night.
So we're knackered. And feeling a bit old. And in need of time away; I've found myself trying not to cry at episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine this week – emotion that should not speak its name but be simply bundled off to Brugge for a recouperative weekend, I think. Working on it.
But right now, we're having to work all weekend, despite pained eyes. Umpteen deadlines all at once.
Still, two nice things to wake up to: my first ever collection of Django Reinhardt plopped through the door this morning, and Fi Gawdblesser Glover made a joke to a cultural hero of mine on my behalf – "Nitin Sawhney is our studio guest star this week and listener Tim Peach tells us that someone once said it is easier to list the things you can't do than those you can. He'd like me to ask you what they both are, respectfully…" He chuckled and said simply: "Cooking and driving."
Hah! Knew there had to be something.
Hmm. But he also feels no need to write into radio shows and then blog the results.
..Don't care, Fi Glover spoke my name to Nitin Sawhney while I lounged in bed. An auspicious start to Saturday…
Are we? Don't know, really. Momo's ramped up to speed this week, which is good, I guess. And Caroline's back at college; the upshot of both being that we locked ourselves into the studio again lastnight with Pete, Annie and a fruity Rioja to try and Stay On It. Or perhaps, Get Down On It. All very nice; very funky and productive even, but we had to draw the line at Kissy Sell Out, who kept shouting at us how much the tunes he was playing from only about a year ago reminded him of school… Yep, I'll concede you can only listen to Radio One for so long, even on a Friday night.
So we're knackered. And feeling a bit old. And in need of time away; I've found myself trying not to cry at episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine this week – emotion that should not speak its name but be simply bundled off to Brugge for a recouperative weekend, I think. Working on it.
But right now, we're having to work all weekend, despite pained eyes. Umpteen deadlines all at once.
Still, two nice things to wake up to: my first ever collection of Django Reinhardt plopped through the door this morning, and Fi Gawdblesser Glover made a joke to a cultural hero of mine on my behalf – "Nitin Sawhney is our studio guest star this week and listener Tim Peach tells us that someone once said it is easier to list the things you can't do than those you can. He'd like me to ask you what they both are, respectfully…" He chuckled and said simply: "Cooking and driving."
Hah! Knew there had to be something.
Hmm. But he also feels no need to write into radio shows and then blog the results.
..Don't care, Fi Glover spoke my name to Nitin Sawhney while I lounged in bed. An auspicious start to Saturday…
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
New Year.
New Year.
Amazon have declared our weird Christmas finally over, with two new CDs arriving in the post. New music helps to make a new chapter – but while I fug around to Herbie Hancock and swashbuckle Momo's inbox, I think of last Wednesday and what a bizarrely good thing it was.
Dad would, I feel sure, have been bursting with pride. I was. Our family of friends were fantastic – thankyou for helping to give us a love-fest that was the best send-off we could have managed. The stories and the smiles around the sadness filled us up. Just thankyou.
Mum is in okay shape, and so is Melly. We're all doing okay. But we could have talked for days to describe Dad properly.
Thinking of you, Dad. We all have been, very very fondly.
x
Amazon have declared our weird Christmas finally over, with two new CDs arriving in the post. New music helps to make a new chapter – but while I fug around to Herbie Hancock and swashbuckle Momo's inbox, I think of last Wednesday and what a bizarrely good thing it was.
Dad would, I feel sure, have been bursting with pride. I was. Our family of friends were fantastic – thankyou for helping to give us a love-fest that was the best send-off we could have managed. The stories and the smiles around the sadness filled us up. Just thankyou.
Mum is in okay shape, and so is Melly. We're all doing okay. But we could have talked for days to describe Dad properly.
Thinking of you, Dad. We all have been, very very fondly.
x
Monday, December 31, 2007
Arrangements
As you might imagine, it's been a weird Christmas. Large helpings of lots to do and nothing to do. And an uncomfortable amount of Normal – none of us know how to stay under a black shroud for long, it seems.
For info, Dad's funeral will be Wednesday 9th January 2008, 11.30am at Richmond Hill URC, with a short time at the crem at 12.30 and a social time at Highcliffe Golf Club afterwards. It's an open door all round, in keeping with Dad's life – all welcome.
All is odd. But okay, I think. I just think of this: we've unearthed a ton of photos from the length and breadth of Dad's life for the memorial and it's hard to find one that doesn't make you smile.
Happy New Year, Dad.
x
As you might imagine, it's been a weird Christmas. Large helpings of lots to do and nothing to do. And an uncomfortable amount of Normal – none of us know how to stay under a black shroud for long, it seems.
For info, Dad's funeral will be Wednesday 9th January 2008, 11.30am at Richmond Hill URC, with a short time at the crem at 12.30 and a social time at Highcliffe Golf Club afterwards. It's an open door all round, in keeping with Dad's life – all welcome.
All is odd. But okay, I think. I just think of this: we've unearthed a ton of photos from the length and breadth of Dad's life for the memorial and it's hard to find one that doesn't make you smile.
Happy New Year, Dad.
x
Arrangements.
Arrangements.
As you might imagine, it's been a weird Christmas. Large helpings of lots to do and nothing to do. And an uncomfortable amount of Normal – none of us know how to stay under a black shroud for long, it seems.
For info, Dad's funeral will be Wednesday 9th January 2008, 11.30am at Richmond Hill URC, with a short time at the crem at 12.30 and a social time at Highcliffe Golf Club afterwards. It's an open door all round, in keeping with Dad's life – all welcome, if you knew him.
All is odd. But okay, I think. I just think of this: we've unearthed a ton of photos from the length and breadth of Dad's life for the memorial and it's hard to find one that doesn't make you smile.
Happy New Year, Dad.
x
As you might imagine, it's been a weird Christmas. Large helpings of lots to do and nothing to do. And an uncomfortable amount of Normal – none of us know how to stay under a black shroud for long, it seems.
For info, Dad's funeral will be Wednesday 9th January 2008, 11.30am at Richmond Hill URC, with a short time at the crem at 12.30 and a social time at Highcliffe Golf Club afterwards. It's an open door all round, in keeping with Dad's life – all welcome, if you knew him.
All is odd. But okay, I think. I just think of this: we've unearthed a ton of photos from the length and breadth of Dad's life for the memorial and it's hard to find one that doesn't make you smile.
Happy New Year, Dad.
x
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Dad. And Dad.
Dad. And Dad.
He had been making remarkable progress. They had taken most of the lines out of him and were daring to contemplate life at home for him. Mum had finally been let out of hospital and had a few days at home at long last, ready to start thinking about the future of care for my Dad. But in the end, he'd fought for long enough.
We had a call at 4.00am this morning. Dad died soon afterwards.
We're okay. We're all kind of okay. Wish I could say more – there's much I could, but it's only twelve hours in and this is just a blog. But my Dad is no longer suffering.
..Wish it was a neat as that, however. Sixteen hours before that call, we'd had another one. My brother in law's dad, David, died one night previous. In the space of a day, Caroline and her sister had both lost their fathers, because that's what both men really were to them. A personal thing to say, and a testimony to both of them. The first of many.
So we're juggling families. And feelings. And practicalities.
Will let you know more details here in time; the blog's been useful to let friends know the news for our folks. And everyone's texts and thoughts have been very kind, very helpful and no surprise at all. Bless you guys for being our family – Mum and Dad were always so pleased you've been there for us.
A little more when we have time.
x
He had been making remarkable progress. They had taken most of the lines out of him and were daring to contemplate life at home for him. Mum had finally been let out of hospital and had a few days at home at long last, ready to start thinking about the future of care for my Dad. But in the end, he'd fought for long enough.
We had a call at 4.00am this morning. Dad died soon afterwards.
We're okay. We're all kind of okay. Wish I could say more – there's much I could, but it's only twelve hours in and this is just a blog. But my Dad is no longer suffering.
..Wish it was a neat as that, however. Sixteen hours before that call, we'd had another one. My brother in law's dad, David, died one night previous. In the space of a day, Caroline and her sister had both lost their fathers, because that's what both men really were to them. A personal thing to say, and a testimony to both of them. The first of many.
So we're juggling families. And feelings. And practicalities.
Will let you know more details here in time; the blog's been useful to let friends know the news for our folks. And everyone's texts and thoughts have been very kind, very helpful and no surprise at all. Bless you guys for being our family – Mum and Dad were always so pleased you've been there for us.
A little more when we have time.
x
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
WARNING! WARD CLOSED.
WARNING! WARD CLOSED.
My Mum now has C-Dif. Or similar. The point is, they've closed her ward entirely and moved her to a side room where she can feel completely lousy in bacterial privacy. Can't see her.
The hospital looks like M*A*S*H. Yellow warning stickers all over wards; crooked bits of wood nailed over the doors. Blood on the lintels. But, amazingly, Melissa and I managed to see Dad this afternoon. We sat and chatted and I tried to put my finger on what was weird about him. Then I twigged – as ill and unhappy as he is, he looks more like himself than I've seen in a month. I figured he must be getting better because he'd been grouchy with the nurses in the night – they'd tried to make him lie down and he took umbridge at not being able to breathe.
We're still not thinking beyond tomorrow, however. Dad's medical condition is as complicated and vulnerable as ever. But they have moved him to a ward tonight.
So we got through today. Seems my parents will both be in hospital until next week at least.
Stop me when this gets boring.
My Mum now has C-Dif. Or similar. The point is, they've closed her ward entirely and moved her to a side room where she can feel completely lousy in bacterial privacy. Can't see her.
The hospital looks like M*A*S*H. Yellow warning stickers all over wards; crooked bits of wood nailed over the doors. Blood on the lintels. But, amazingly, Melissa and I managed to see Dad this afternoon. We sat and chatted and I tried to put my finger on what was weird about him. Then I twigged – as ill and unhappy as he is, he looks more like himself than I've seen in a month. I figured he must be getting better because he'd been grouchy with the nurses in the night – they'd tried to make him lie down and he took umbridge at not being able to breathe.
We're still not thinking beyond tomorrow, however. Dad's medical condition is as complicated and vulnerable as ever. But they have moved him to a ward tonight.
So we got through today. Seems my parents will both be in hospital until next week at least.
Stop me when this gets boring.
Family.
Family.
So, er, what a few days. I have five quiet minutes to scribble an update here, so here is where my family are at:
Kind of okay, today.
After Mum was taken in unexpectedly on Thursday morning, the two of us did what we could to be with Dad and ensure he was looked after; there was just no way for him to be left alone while so unwell. They finally diagnosed his stomach bug that afternoon and prescribed some anti-biotics – so, as Friday rolled through, he seemed to be making progress in some small way at last. I told Melly to sit tight and not come down; Mum too was making slow but sure improvement.
That evening, we popped out together for half an hour to get cat food and one or two other things we don't understand and, when we returned, found Dad looking worried and feeling unwell again.
"I've just had a call from the blood lab" he said. "They're sending a doctor round now; I need to go back to hospital…"
We prepared and waiting and eventually opened the door to the doctor on call that night. A while later, we were wheeling my heartbreakingly frail father into A&E.
The bottom line, in short, is that he was subsequently diagnosed with a combination of very serious stuff – combination being the real point. It took them a couple of hours of testing and hooking him up to things and going through a bound tome of medical records that looked like the Book Of Kells, but eventually faces were grave enough to usher us into a side room. It was very gently done, but we were Given The Talk.
How much do I say about seeing Dad like that?
Nothing really here; you get the point. We had to leave him and go home to try for some sleep. We had to leave him.
----
Walking in again the next morning we knew two things – Dad was in a serious way and Mum didn't know. What we didn't know was how far Dad had come or not during the night.
Y'know, there's plenty of story here to go into at another time but, again, maybe not now. Amazed to say that as Saturday wore on, Dad's vitals began to do the distinctly unexpected – rally. Bloody rally. The senior doctor on Friday night had said to us: "I love it when my patients prove me wrong, but…" and 24hrs later, Dad was adding another 'but' to her statement. I honestly quite can't believe it. But, almost can – my Dad is my Dad everywhere. Seeing him then, that lunchtime, he was still thanking the medical staff and, I began to suspect, warming hearts a little on a frazzled ward. That's him, in that situation.
We spent much of that day at the hospital, of course. By the time Melly had joined us, we'd actually managed to grab a kip on the sofa at home, as ward infections were barring us from seeing Dad much. But before we came home that tea time, we'd managed to do the one thing I'd most prayed for – get Mum down to see Dad. Touching, and kind of funny. Oh my lord, my blummen' parents. Having them both in the same hospital does start to feel like a Carry On farce…
----
Since then. Well, Dad is still in a very bad way. No one is talking about what to do, medium term – and by that I mean anything after next week. It is hour by hour, day by day. I'm running Momo at half speed and not travelling out of town at the moment. But Dad's vitals are on a very slow climb in the right direction. After three days.
Thing is, farce fans, we had some more news about Mum yesterday. Looking very much herself – thankfully enough for me to be facetious to her again, though this admittedly needs little more than a pulse showing on her ECG – and bored daft, she was not let out yesterday as planned. And here are her consultant's words:
"Well, Mrs Peach, we hardly want to let you out of here if you're cooking up a heart attack."
Subtle.
So we have both parents in there for indeterminate lengths of stay. ..Now, do I add here or leave it 'till later? Their elderly cat doesn't half look dicky at home too…
Anyway, there we are. On call. But okay. Today. Strangely grateful for how things have fallen to help us deal with things so far. And grateful too for the wider family's kindness. ..That's you guys.
Caroline is making for London today, to hand in an essay. I'm trying to get a presentation out of the way and Melissa is getting some more things down to Mum. Each day, we're waiting for a call and hoping for progress.
Let you know when we know more.
x
So, er, what a few days. I have five quiet minutes to scribble an update here, so here is where my family are at:
Kind of okay, today.
After Mum was taken in unexpectedly on Thursday morning, the two of us did what we could to be with Dad and ensure he was looked after; there was just no way for him to be left alone while so unwell. They finally diagnosed his stomach bug that afternoon and prescribed some anti-biotics – so, as Friday rolled through, he seemed to be making progress in some small way at last. I told Melly to sit tight and not come down; Mum too was making slow but sure improvement.
That evening, we popped out together for half an hour to get cat food and one or two other things we don't understand and, when we returned, found Dad looking worried and feeling unwell again.
"I've just had a call from the blood lab" he said. "They're sending a doctor round now; I need to go back to hospital…"
We prepared and waiting and eventually opened the door to the doctor on call that night. A while later, we were wheeling my heartbreakingly frail father into A&E.
The bottom line, in short, is that he was subsequently diagnosed with a combination of very serious stuff – combination being the real point. It took them a couple of hours of testing and hooking him up to things and going through a bound tome of medical records that looked like the Book Of Kells, but eventually faces were grave enough to usher us into a side room. It was very gently done, but we were Given The Talk.
How much do I say about seeing Dad like that?
Nothing really here; you get the point. We had to leave him and go home to try for some sleep. We had to leave him.
----
Walking in again the next morning we knew two things – Dad was in a serious way and Mum didn't know. What we didn't know was how far Dad had come or not during the night.
Y'know, there's plenty of story here to go into at another time but, again, maybe not now. Amazed to say that as Saturday wore on, Dad's vitals began to do the distinctly unexpected – rally. Bloody rally. The senior doctor on Friday night had said to us: "I love it when my patients prove me wrong, but…" and 24hrs later, Dad was adding another 'but' to her statement. I honestly quite can't believe it. But, almost can – my Dad is my Dad everywhere. Seeing him then, that lunchtime, he was still thanking the medical staff and, I began to suspect, warming hearts a little on a frazzled ward. That's him, in that situation.
We spent much of that day at the hospital, of course. By the time Melly had joined us, we'd actually managed to grab a kip on the sofa at home, as ward infections were barring us from seeing Dad much. But before we came home that tea time, we'd managed to do the one thing I'd most prayed for – get Mum down to see Dad. Touching, and kind of funny. Oh my lord, my blummen' parents. Having them both in the same hospital does start to feel like a Carry On farce…
----
Since then. Well, Dad is still in a very bad way. No one is talking about what to do, medium term – and by that I mean anything after next week. It is hour by hour, day by day. I'm running Momo at half speed and not travelling out of town at the moment. But Dad's vitals are on a very slow climb in the right direction. After three days.
Thing is, farce fans, we had some more news about Mum yesterday. Looking very much herself – thankfully enough for me to be facetious to her again, though this admittedly needs little more than a pulse showing on her ECG – and bored daft, she was not let out yesterday as planned. And here are her consultant's words:
"Well, Mrs Peach, we hardly want to let you out of here if you're cooking up a heart attack."
Subtle.
So we have both parents in there for indeterminate lengths of stay. ..Now, do I add here or leave it 'till later? Their elderly cat doesn't half look dicky at home too…
Anyway, there we are. On call. But okay. Today. Strangely grateful for how things have fallen to help us deal with things so far. And grateful too for the wider family's kindness. ..That's you guys.
Caroline is making for London today, to hand in an essay. I'm trying to get a presentation out of the way and Melissa is getting some more things down to Mum. Each day, we're waiting for a call and hoping for progress.
Let you know when we know more.
x
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Up and down.
Up and down.
It's becoming a leeeetle bit of a tragic farce now. Phone rang this morning, not long after my alarm had gone off. Early. In fact, I was still dead to the world and didn't hear the phone when Caroline leapt out of bed.
It was Mum. Badly out of breath. Being carted off to A&E.
She'd woken up unable to breathe and Dad had called an ambulance. Four of them plugged her into things and carried her away, with my Dad left behind, wondering what was going on.
We got over there pronto and realised we'd better imagine settling in for the day. I left it an hour and rang the hospital. Turns out Mum had run out of some of her meds and this caught up with her rather suddenly. So, assuring Dad we'd both be on hand, Caroline unfolded the laptop to try and make headway on an essay, and I began a multi-pointed dash through the south coast rain to run errands – main one being, to see Mum.
She'd been moved to Acute Admissions by the time I arrived, and she was stable. But under a mask and drowsy. Various tubes in her arm. As I sat with her a while, I looked at her and thought: this is Dad's primary carer?
It seems likely she'll recover fine once the missing meds balance out in her system – but she'll be in for at least a night and possibly two. Think we'll have to stick around for Dad all night. We're waiting on some test results today from a sample from Dad that Mum managed to get to a lab yesterday, smart lady. If it's not the rampant Norwood bug, or whatever it's called, they'll admit him to hospital to start trying to get some food and fluids into him at last. He's had a month of sickness and diarrhoea now; a month.
Mum and Dad live at the top of the hill. At the bottom of the hill, meanwhile, just a skateboard ride away, a rather different major medical moment is overdue – Kev and Fee's tiddler. They both keep scaring me with emails and texts, but so far these have been all about dancing elves.
So it's all a bit up and down here at the moment. Good job I'm not trying to run a business single handed, eh?
It's becoming a leeeetle bit of a tragic farce now. Phone rang this morning, not long after my alarm had gone off. Early. In fact, I was still dead to the world and didn't hear the phone when Caroline leapt out of bed.
It was Mum. Badly out of breath. Being carted off to A&E.
She'd woken up unable to breathe and Dad had called an ambulance. Four of them plugged her into things and carried her away, with my Dad left behind, wondering what was going on.
We got over there pronto and realised we'd better imagine settling in for the day. I left it an hour and rang the hospital. Turns out Mum had run out of some of her meds and this caught up with her rather suddenly. So, assuring Dad we'd both be on hand, Caroline unfolded the laptop to try and make headway on an essay, and I began a multi-pointed dash through the south coast rain to run errands – main one being, to see Mum.
She'd been moved to Acute Admissions by the time I arrived, and she was stable. But under a mask and drowsy. Various tubes in her arm. As I sat with her a while, I looked at her and thought: this is Dad's primary carer?
It seems likely she'll recover fine once the missing meds balance out in her system – but she'll be in for at least a night and possibly two. Think we'll have to stick around for Dad all night. We're waiting on some test results today from a sample from Dad that Mum managed to get to a lab yesterday, smart lady. If it's not the rampant Norwood bug, or whatever it's called, they'll admit him to hospital to start trying to get some food and fluids into him at last. He's had a month of sickness and diarrhoea now; a month.
Mum and Dad live at the top of the hill. At the bottom of the hill, meanwhile, just a skateboard ride away, a rather different major medical moment is overdue – Kev and Fee's tiddler. They both keep scaring me with emails and texts, but so far these have been all about dancing elves.
So it's all a bit up and down here at the moment. Good job I'm not trying to run a business single handed, eh?
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Waiting.
Waiting.
Saw Dad again yesterday. Things are in a bad way.
He's not improving his ability to eat or keep his stomach settled. A month of this in his condition is… not good. The virus seems too hefty for him to shift, which sounds like the bug that hospitals across the UK are apparently struggling with. Don't know.
All I know is, Dad is basically very ill. And we all feel helpless, while waiting for tablets to work and doctors to call.
At the same time, I think of my brother-in-law's father, pastor of their big Baptist church. The chap who married us, in fact, and a big part of our family in Sussex. He's currently in hospital awaiting a delayed re-bypass operation to try and stop an infection in the original valve replacement, done a few weeks ago. Doctors have had serious expressions around his bedside over the last two weeks. Another larger-than-life man in a grave condition. Another family trying to get on with normal stuff while waiting around for news. And praying.
Thing is, this is normal stuff. And under the circumstances, so is praying. Let's just see how today pans out.
Saw Dad again yesterday. Things are in a bad way.
He's not improving his ability to eat or keep his stomach settled. A month of this in his condition is… not good. The virus seems too hefty for him to shift, which sounds like the bug that hospitals across the UK are apparently struggling with. Don't know.
All I know is, Dad is basically very ill. And we all feel helpless, while waiting for tablets to work and doctors to call.
At the same time, I think of my brother-in-law's father, pastor of their big Baptist church. The chap who married us, in fact, and a big part of our family in Sussex. He's currently in hospital awaiting a delayed re-bypass operation to try and stop an infection in the original valve replacement, done a few weeks ago. Doctors have had serious expressions around his bedside over the last two weeks. Another larger-than-life man in a grave condition. Another family trying to get on with normal stuff while waiting around for news. And praying.
Thing is, this is normal stuff. And under the circumstances, so is praying. Let's just see how today pans out.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Growing up and getting down.
Growing up and getting down.
Number of reasons to feel old this week. As usual, I don't really – but I really should. Because, apart from anything else, they tell me it's exactly twenty-five years since Thriller was released.
I queued for that record when it came out. Or at least, I kept having to go back to John Menzies in Christchurch to get new copies of it because there was a whole funny batch of them badly pressed that made Billy Jean jump. ..And with a courageous stiff upper lip that would make one of Queen Victoria's finest cavalry front-liners proud to stand next to me, I admit that I bought this fabled Michael Jackson epic along with George Michael's beat combo debut – Wham! Fantastic! I did. I just admitted it, there. What have you got now?
So Thriller seems both quainter and sweeter second time around. Found it in a bargain bin at Borders on a rain-lashed Friday evening, after a Goodbye Old Chum drink with Kev; little baby Marshall is scheduled for much-anticipated poolside entrance tomorrow. Jeeeeepers. There again – a reason to feel old.
Another reason to feel old is watching your Father do enough aging for both of you in front of your eyes. We went over to help mine celebrate his 73rd today – but there's no escaping how his current illness has given him extra years. I won't put into idle words here how it feels, but he and Mum seem to have everything queuing up against them. And I love my Dad, and my Mum.
When I cycled from school to spend my meagre Advertiser delivery money on Thriller the first time, I was enjoying a very happy end of childhood – and looking forward to a very groovy adulthood, thanks in giant part to my groovy parents. Though 'groovy' in the Eddie Izzard sense, rather than the would-honestly-ever-dance-to-Thriller sense. Like most people's parents back then.
As an aside, today – against the natural order of things or not – most of my be-parenthooded friends seem to be doing a remarkably good job of being groovy in a way that wouldn't have made sense twenty five years ago – ie: still reasonably sexy young Got Its. As much as any of them ever had it, they still seem to have the funk for getting down –no different to two and a half decades ago to my eye. Is this right? Or am I old after all? When do we all become Real Adults?
But look at us as a generation – we still bang on about blummen' Star Wars and Stardust and Atari home video games and Thriller – and refuse to fully accept we're no longer that age, even as our heroic creatives and everything else we love slide into mediocrity and decline.
And a bloody good thing too, after all. Maybe. All I know is that, full blast in the earphones, Thriller is making me fug round the studio like a disco zombie – I am doing the dance, yes. Damn right. Do it too. Get the record and do it too, with me.
Because, however grown-up life is trying to make me, I'm still going to fight it. Somehow. And help my Dad fight it. ..Somehow.
Though I'm not sure suggesting a moonwalking class to Michael Jackson would say it right for him – or assure him I've taken up the mantle of responsibility at last.
Which would probably reassure my Dad after all.
Number of reasons to feel old this week. As usual, I don't really – but I really should. Because, apart from anything else, they tell me it's exactly twenty-five years since Thriller was released.
I queued for that record when it came out. Or at least, I kept having to go back to John Menzies in Christchurch to get new copies of it because there was a whole funny batch of them badly pressed that made Billy Jean jump. ..And with a courageous stiff upper lip that would make one of Queen Victoria's finest cavalry front-liners proud to stand next to me, I admit that I bought this fabled Michael Jackson epic along with George Michael's beat combo debut – Wham! Fantastic! I did. I just admitted it, there. What have you got now?
So Thriller seems both quainter and sweeter second time around. Found it in a bargain bin at Borders on a rain-lashed Friday evening, after a Goodbye Old Chum drink with Kev; little baby Marshall is scheduled for much-anticipated poolside entrance tomorrow. Jeeeeepers. There again – a reason to feel old.
Another reason to feel old is watching your Father do enough aging for both of you in front of your eyes. We went over to help mine celebrate his 73rd today – but there's no escaping how his current illness has given him extra years. I won't put into idle words here how it feels, but he and Mum seem to have everything queuing up against them. And I love my Dad, and my Mum.
When I cycled from school to spend my meagre Advertiser delivery money on Thriller the first time, I was enjoying a very happy end of childhood – and looking forward to a very groovy adulthood, thanks in giant part to my groovy parents. Though 'groovy' in the Eddie Izzard sense, rather than the would-honestly-ever-dance-to-Thriller sense. Like most people's parents back then.
As an aside, today – against the natural order of things or not – most of my be-parenthooded friends seem to be doing a remarkably good job of being groovy in a way that wouldn't have made sense twenty five years ago – ie: still reasonably sexy young Got Its. As much as any of them ever had it, they still seem to have the funk for getting down –no different to two and a half decades ago to my eye. Is this right? Or am I old after all? When do we all become Real Adults?
But look at us as a generation – we still bang on about blummen' Star Wars and Stardust and Atari home video games and Thriller – and refuse to fully accept we're no longer that age, even as our heroic creatives and everything else we love slide into mediocrity and decline.
And a bloody good thing too, after all. Maybe. All I know is that, full blast in the earphones, Thriller is making me fug round the studio like a disco zombie – I am doing the dance, yes. Damn right. Do it too. Get the record and do it too, with me.
Because, however grown-up life is trying to make me, I'm still going to fight it. Somehow. And help my Dad fight it. ..Somehow.
Though I'm not sure suggesting a moonwalking class to Michael Jackson would say it right for him – or assure him I've taken up the mantle of responsibility at last.
Which would probably reassure my Dad after all.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Moi je croix.
Moi je croix.
What do you take comfort in? I think that most of the things humans take comfort in are – if analysed with that most unfair of scientific tools, honesty – flimsy notions. Impressions. Brands, if you like – ideas of things that fit our view of the world and that we want to buy in to, to reinforce it. Romance, in other words.
Think of places. Caroline and I were contemplating the idea of city brands – every famous place on Earth paints an instant impression in your mind when you say the name – Egypt, Rome, New York, London. And straight away you know how much you identify with that place or not. Have you always been a London type of person? Does Marakech open a door of exotic comfort for you? ..If so, where the hell did that come from – you live in Bournemouth.
Both of us, for example have long taken a strange and well-known comfort in Paris. The idea of Paris. Don't know why, but we do bang on about it. We were each asked once, separately, what our Favourite Place On Earth was – daft parlour game – and we both said the French capital.
Now, to a flimsy dandy like me, a place as ponsed-up as the city of lights is an obvious choice – a perceived lifestyle of loafing in cafés talking lightweight philosophy as a basically-not-veiled-at-all excuse to watch aloof french birds swing up and down the leafy boulevards. All safe in the knowledge that some of the finest creative names in history came here to do and to champion, even, exactly that.
..But Caroline? Perhaps the least pretentious human alive? She chose this place?
Don't get me wrong, I doubt either of us would want to live in a world where you could never actually leave your Favourite Place On Earth – Greek inlets, Swiss Mountains and Scandinavian forests are all worth a visit I hear – but our joint admission just goes to show what a strong impression places create – usually despite the facts.
It makes no dent on my romantic daydreams of the Left Bank, for example, to be all-too aware that most Parisians live outside the Periferique and have a fairly unromantic view of the French police and their identity in Gallic society – that much-photographed Haussman-ploughed city centre still gives off an intoxicating vibe. And I don't mean the dog shite.
But who remembers the city's attempt to publicise itself – 'Paris, c'est la Peche'? And, for that matter, how many people remember that The Big Apple was so christened by an ad campaign? At the beginning of the 21st century, at least, these iconic locations appear in our minds as fully formed brands, without an ad man or a local community influencing us either way. Don't they?
Perhaps. But I'm not sure it's quite so simple. What's your view of Berlin? Black and white Nazi propaganda backdrop – or Lily Von Stüpp in fishnets, drawling 'I'm so tired…' on a back-turned chair? Or maybe you think of the wall and wonder what all that was about. I've not been yet – 'yet', note the brand impression already formed in my mind – but I think of a dynamic place of creativity and regeneration – art galleries and forward-thinking music. How right will I turn out to be when I go?
Places can change their brand then – perhaps when they fall out of the world's consciousness a little and have to make a new statement. But how do they get inspired, these grand new statements? You may be able to – and have to – stump up umpteen million euros to re-imagine the Pottsdammer Platz, or to create La Defence, or Canary Warf, but who inspires creatives to get together and be really inspired somewhere? They probably put the soul, or at least the brand, into a place – but what puts the soul into them when they go there?
I couldn't answer that without really thinking about it, which I can't be arsed to now – it's midnight, for Pete's sake. But it makes me think of another idle notion that I've long taken great comfort in: the idea that British people are united by their use of humour. It's the one thing that Middle Englanders quietly think they're still allowed to be collectively proud to be British about – perhaps the one remaining thing.
On Fi Glover's show last Saturday morning, there was a very nice lady sharing her Inheritance Tracks – pieces of music of personal significance, passed on from parents to children, and children to their children. She was a charmingly unshowy sort, who came out with a pearl I've not been able to forget all week. Because it's something I think I've clung to as a very conscious philosophy for very many years.
The track she felt that her father impressed upon her was by Peter Ustinov – Mock Mozart. The gigantically talented Mr Ustinov is a comfort to many people, I think – a brand he would, I suspect, feel bemused at and unworthy of. But the fact that his enormous-seeming humanity expressed itself so often in sheer sillyness is something to make romantic Britons weep for joy. And Mock Mozart is a prime example. It's what I do in the shower most mornings. On this record, he has basically multi-tracked his own voice as a series of strangely convincing operatic enunciations of random Italian words, to a Mozart-like score. It's a piece of class daftness.
But what this lady, Anna, said it made her think of was her father's strongly-held philosophy – if nothing is sacred, then everything is sacred.
If nothing is sacred, everything is sacred.
That's it. That's why it's so bloody important to be funny. It's defiant. It's victorious even, when you've little other reason to feel so. And it shows what true value every little moment has.
Call me a daft romantic, but this is something I believe. And I find it a great comfort indeed.
What do you take comfort in? I think that most of the things humans take comfort in are – if analysed with that most unfair of scientific tools, honesty – flimsy notions. Impressions. Brands, if you like – ideas of things that fit our view of the world and that we want to buy in to, to reinforce it. Romance, in other words.
Think of places. Caroline and I were contemplating the idea of city brands – every famous place on Earth paints an instant impression in your mind when you say the name – Egypt, Rome, New York, London. And straight away you know how much you identify with that place or not. Have you always been a London type of person? Does Marakech open a door of exotic comfort for you? ..If so, where the hell did that come from – you live in Bournemouth.
Both of us, for example have long taken a strange and well-known comfort in Paris. The idea of Paris. Don't know why, but we do bang on about it. We were each asked once, separately, what our Favourite Place On Earth was – daft parlour game – and we both said the French capital.
Now, to a flimsy dandy like me, a place as ponsed-up as the city of lights is an obvious choice – a perceived lifestyle of loafing in cafés talking lightweight philosophy as a basically-not-veiled-at-all excuse to watch aloof french birds swing up and down the leafy boulevards. All safe in the knowledge that some of the finest creative names in history came here to do and to champion, even, exactly that.
..But Caroline? Perhaps the least pretentious human alive? She chose this place?
Don't get me wrong, I doubt either of us would want to live in a world where you could never actually leave your Favourite Place On Earth – Greek inlets, Swiss Mountains and Scandinavian forests are all worth a visit I hear – but our joint admission just goes to show what a strong impression places create – usually despite the facts.
It makes no dent on my romantic daydreams of the Left Bank, for example, to be all-too aware that most Parisians live outside the Periferique and have a fairly unromantic view of the French police and their identity in Gallic society – that much-photographed Haussman-ploughed city centre still gives off an intoxicating vibe. And I don't mean the dog shite.
But who remembers the city's attempt to publicise itself – 'Paris, c'est la Peche'? And, for that matter, how many people remember that The Big Apple was so christened by an ad campaign? At the beginning of the 21st century, at least, these iconic locations appear in our minds as fully formed brands, without an ad man or a local community influencing us either way. Don't they?
Perhaps. But I'm not sure it's quite so simple. What's your view of Berlin? Black and white Nazi propaganda backdrop – or Lily Von Stüpp in fishnets, drawling 'I'm so tired…' on a back-turned chair? Or maybe you think of the wall and wonder what all that was about. I've not been yet – 'yet', note the brand impression already formed in my mind – but I think of a dynamic place of creativity and regeneration – art galleries and forward-thinking music. How right will I turn out to be when I go?
Places can change their brand then – perhaps when they fall out of the world's consciousness a little and have to make a new statement. But how do they get inspired, these grand new statements? You may be able to – and have to – stump up umpteen million euros to re-imagine the Pottsdammer Platz, or to create La Defence, or Canary Warf, but who inspires creatives to get together and be really inspired somewhere? They probably put the soul, or at least the brand, into a place – but what puts the soul into them when they go there?
I couldn't answer that without really thinking about it, which I can't be arsed to now – it's midnight, for Pete's sake. But it makes me think of another idle notion that I've long taken great comfort in: the idea that British people are united by their use of humour. It's the one thing that Middle Englanders quietly think they're still allowed to be collectively proud to be British about – perhaps the one remaining thing.
On Fi Glover's show last Saturday morning, there was a very nice lady sharing her Inheritance Tracks – pieces of music of personal significance, passed on from parents to children, and children to their children. She was a charmingly unshowy sort, who came out with a pearl I've not been able to forget all week. Because it's something I think I've clung to as a very conscious philosophy for very many years.
The track she felt that her father impressed upon her was by Peter Ustinov – Mock Mozart. The gigantically talented Mr Ustinov is a comfort to many people, I think – a brand he would, I suspect, feel bemused at and unworthy of. But the fact that his enormous-seeming humanity expressed itself so often in sheer sillyness is something to make romantic Britons weep for joy. And Mock Mozart is a prime example. It's what I do in the shower most mornings. On this record, he has basically multi-tracked his own voice as a series of strangely convincing operatic enunciations of random Italian words, to a Mozart-like score. It's a piece of class daftness.
But what this lady, Anna, said it made her think of was her father's strongly-held philosophy – if nothing is sacred, then everything is sacred.
If nothing is sacred, everything is sacred.
That's it. That's why it's so bloody important to be funny. It's defiant. It's victorious even, when you've little other reason to feel so. And it shows what true value every little moment has.
Call me a daft romantic, but this is something I believe. And I find it a great comfort indeed.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Pneu pneu – da-daahh de-dada.
Pneu pneu – da-daahh de-dada.
A whole week has gone by without having a wife around. Given that we're normally both living and working around eachother here in the flat, it's been a strangely un-strange week for me; think we've both just gotten on with things. And I rather think Caroline's week has been more intense than mine, which is a cruel twist of fate given that I've been working and she's been on a sketchbook field trip to Montpelier. Still, I'll have to work up the sympathy a little when she returns, as right now I think she's likely to be in a café in Paris, diverted to the city of lights by the current French rail strike. I've had FIP on round the house all day, listening to a bonkers-eclectic playlist and Parisian traffic reports in solidarity.
Lastnight, it was French music too. Though I've yet to decide if Air's fashion sense is the future or not – it wouldn't be the future of a family, if I did adopt their tight white jeans as my new look du jour.
I'm beginning to wonder if the Opera House has pants acoustics. Can't say lastnight's mix was any better than Pendulum's a week ago – and what a dreary technical way to start a review of one of Pop's most enjoyed left-of-centre groups. But trying to pull off electronic music live is a tricky one, I feel prompted to say again, and though the boys did an admirable job with their band, a combination of fizzy synths, live vocoding and a middle-aged audience did little to create a seething Zion in the mosh pit.
Still, as an inadvertant Air nerd, I enjoyed playing air keyboards along to their back catalogue and it was nice to hear so much from their least commercially successful album, 10,000htz or whatever it's called. It was a likeable, tuneful show with a fabulously over-egged, arpeggiated finish, even if they'd cleared off with a friendly 'bon soir' by quarter to eleven. They obviously figured their demographic would need to get home sharpish to relieve the baby sitter. Never mind.
I did have a bit of a Pavlovian reaction to some of the tunes from Moon Safari though – I've had so many darned dinner parties to that album over the last decade, I was desperate for the main course by the end.
So, to celebrate a night out properly, we turned a joke into an action plan and Andy, Mark, Mike, Emma and myself hotwheeled to the Chick King and ate mushroom burgers in the seafront carpark.
Health kick starts tomorrow, when Caroline is back. I had better get the hoover out; if I still haven't cleared the washing up by the time she walks in later, I won't be humming french lounge music, it'll be something from The Muppets.
A whole week has gone by without having a wife around. Given that we're normally both living and working around eachother here in the flat, it's been a strangely un-strange week for me; think we've both just gotten on with things. And I rather think Caroline's week has been more intense than mine, which is a cruel twist of fate given that I've been working and she's been on a sketchbook field trip to Montpelier. Still, I'll have to work up the sympathy a little when she returns, as right now I think she's likely to be in a café in Paris, diverted to the city of lights by the current French rail strike. I've had FIP on round the house all day, listening to a bonkers-eclectic playlist and Parisian traffic reports in solidarity.
Lastnight, it was French music too. Though I've yet to decide if Air's fashion sense is the future or not – it wouldn't be the future of a family, if I did adopt their tight white jeans as my new look du jour.
I'm beginning to wonder if the Opera House has pants acoustics. Can't say lastnight's mix was any better than Pendulum's a week ago – and what a dreary technical way to start a review of one of Pop's most enjoyed left-of-centre groups. But trying to pull off electronic music live is a tricky one, I feel prompted to say again, and though the boys did an admirable job with their band, a combination of fizzy synths, live vocoding and a middle-aged audience did little to create a seething Zion in the mosh pit.
Still, as an inadvertant Air nerd, I enjoyed playing air keyboards along to their back catalogue and it was nice to hear so much from their least commercially successful album, 10,000htz or whatever it's called. It was a likeable, tuneful show with a fabulously over-egged, arpeggiated finish, even if they'd cleared off with a friendly 'bon soir' by quarter to eleven. They obviously figured their demographic would need to get home sharpish to relieve the baby sitter. Never mind.
I did have a bit of a Pavlovian reaction to some of the tunes from Moon Safari though – I've had so many darned dinner parties to that album over the last decade, I was desperate for the main course by the end.
So, to celebrate a night out properly, we turned a joke into an action plan and Andy, Mark, Mike, Emma and myself hotwheeled to the Chick King and ate mushroom burgers in the seafront carpark.
Health kick starts tomorrow, when Caroline is back. I had better get the hoover out; if I still haven't cleared the washing up by the time she walks in later, I won't be humming french lounge music, it'll be something from The Muppets.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Afrikaans apricots. Sort of.
Afrikaans apricots. Sort of.
Alas, I am left alone. Couple of days in, and Caroline's absence from the home for a whole week is a darn shame on a cold winter's night, but we are both being remarkably grown-up about it. While Caroline is drawing flick-book stick men with berets, while pretending to fill a sketchbook with intelligent elevations of eighteenth century Provence, I've already watched enough Top Gear on Dave to split my head gasket and indulged in splendidly serious World Cinema with Mark.
And that's the interesting thing. Most of my finest chap-mates would furtively turn on Cold War documentaries and The History Channel and BBC Four World Music specials when live-in loved ones are away or not looking. If you are interested in another perspective on the Palestinian debate, for example, watch Sundance-applauded Paradise Now, about two young men from Nablus facing the prospect of becoming suicide bombers. Simply very good and very subtitled.
To be fair, I can't think of much that my lovely wife and I don't enjoy critiquing together. But one Top Gear a week would be enough for her, I think, and I've yet to convince her to snuggle up and watch Downfall, the much-acclaimed cinematic dramatisation of Hitler's last days. I have too, I notice, left Tarkovsky's original epic Solaris lying around conspicuously this week, two years after borrowing it from Jamie. Am I kidding myself?
Interesting thing, sitting here alone in the flat, little nose going blue as I refuse to put on the heating for a day with just me here, in the absence of the loved one, I've made some new friends quickasaflash, thanks to the superficial influence of the internet.
I promised myself I would restrict my Facebooking to real friends – actual people I interact with. However, today I had a friend request from a chap in Capetown that made me bend my rules.
Jaques Maclárn Peach wonders why he's never heard of the name Peach outside his own circle, and why he's an Afrikaans-speaking Boer with Scottish grandparents and a huge family peachtree crest with a mysterious motto in an alien tongue tattooed all over his arm. He pretty much seemed to be asking me: 'any idea how I got here?'
I looked at the ribboned words around the crest on the picture he sent me. Not English. Not anything South African either. With huge communicatio-lingustic instinct, I immediately divined it to mean: 'I abide in hope and abandon fear' – or, as I broke it down knowledgeably for Jaques: 'I live in hope, not fear.' How cool is that?
I then immediately thought of having this crest tattooed all over my arm.
And then I looked into some Scots Gaelic, which I discovered this is likely to be. As poetic and noble as I'd like this hither-to unheard-of Peach family crest vision statement to be, it turns out it could equally mean: 'Keeping myself in beer up in the glen, and enjoying the odd shank of heffer, stops me shatting myself'. And you think I jest.
What the hell was I doing looking this up? I was in the middle of a press production and trying to translate Scottish mottos into South African Dutch!
Thing is, Jaques' story didn't half sound like a story waiting to be unfolded. A series of buried links across the world. Perhaps a sort of Jason Bournemouth. And when I saw how many other Peaches he'd collected from round the globe in his quest to find a family, I felt I could do nothing but welcome him in.
He said: 'it must be nice to have so much family'. I sheepishly replied that I didn't bother with the rellies much – but my friends were as much family for me as anyone.
So make Jaques feel welcome in the UK, especially if you're a Peach. Timewasting so sociably with the snapping social reflexes of the idle fickle is what we do best, so let's keep it in the family. 'Whether on the south coast, the south of France or South Africa, my circle of friends are all Peaches' I assured him warmly.
Alas, I am left alone. Couple of days in, and Caroline's absence from the home for a whole week is a darn shame on a cold winter's night, but we are both being remarkably grown-up about it. While Caroline is drawing flick-book stick men with berets, while pretending to fill a sketchbook with intelligent elevations of eighteenth century Provence, I've already watched enough Top Gear on Dave to split my head gasket and indulged in splendidly serious World Cinema with Mark.
And that's the interesting thing. Most of my finest chap-mates would furtively turn on Cold War documentaries and The History Channel and BBC Four World Music specials when live-in loved ones are away or not looking. If you are interested in another perspective on the Palestinian debate, for example, watch Sundance-applauded Paradise Now, about two young men from Nablus facing the prospect of becoming suicide bombers. Simply very good and very subtitled.
To be fair, I can't think of much that my lovely wife and I don't enjoy critiquing together. But one Top Gear a week would be enough for her, I think, and I've yet to convince her to snuggle up and watch Downfall, the much-acclaimed cinematic dramatisation of Hitler's last days. I have too, I notice, left Tarkovsky's original epic Solaris lying around conspicuously this week, two years after borrowing it from Jamie. Am I kidding myself?
Interesting thing, sitting here alone in the flat, little nose going blue as I refuse to put on the heating for a day with just me here, in the absence of the loved one, I've made some new friends quickasaflash, thanks to the superficial influence of the internet.
I promised myself I would restrict my Facebooking to real friends – actual people I interact with. However, today I had a friend request from a chap in Capetown that made me bend my rules.
Jaques Maclárn Peach wonders why he's never heard of the name Peach outside his own circle, and why he's an Afrikaans-speaking Boer with Scottish grandparents and a huge family peachtree crest with a mysterious motto in an alien tongue tattooed all over his arm. He pretty much seemed to be asking me: 'any idea how I got here?'
I looked at the ribboned words around the crest on the picture he sent me. Not English. Not anything South African either. With huge communicatio-lingustic instinct, I immediately divined it to mean: 'I abide in hope and abandon fear' – or, as I broke it down knowledgeably for Jaques: 'I live in hope, not fear.' How cool is that?
I then immediately thought of having this crest tattooed all over my arm.
And then I looked into some Scots Gaelic, which I discovered this is likely to be. As poetic and noble as I'd like this hither-to unheard-of Peach family crest vision statement to be, it turns out it could equally mean: 'Keeping myself in beer up in the glen, and enjoying the odd shank of heffer, stops me shatting myself'. And you think I jest.
What the hell was I doing looking this up? I was in the middle of a press production and trying to translate Scottish mottos into South African Dutch!
Thing is, Jaques' story didn't half sound like a story waiting to be unfolded. A series of buried links across the world. Perhaps a sort of Jason Bournemouth. And when I saw how many other Peaches he'd collected from round the globe in his quest to find a family, I felt I could do nothing but welcome him in.
He said: 'it must be nice to have so much family'. I sheepishly replied that I didn't bother with the rellies much – but my friends were as much family for me as anyone.
So make Jaques feel welcome in the UK, especially if you're a Peach. Timewasting so sociably with the snapping social reflexes of the idle fickle is what we do best, so let's keep it in the family. 'Whether on the south coast, the south of France or South Africa, my circle of friends are all Peaches' I assured him warmly.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Buff-diff, baby.
Buff-diff, baby.
So, lastnight we went out. Just for fun.
I know – mid-week madness for two hard-working poppets like us. And we were, of course, already sleep-deprived from Caroline's usual Wednesday late-nighter from London – and Mike, who's idea it was, had to be up at five the next morning to do his morning radio show (gratemate), the crazy boy. But when you discover that stadium drum'n'bassers, Pendulum, are doing a live show right in your back yard at the Academy – sorry, the Opera House – it's not so daft to give your slumbers a bit of a dent for such a big beat treat.
The band's debut album, Hold your colour, is as much rocked-up, riff-tastic fun as it is sophisticated style statement. Sort of Apollo 440 for the naughties, if that means anything; all very nicely put together and so hot right now. But I did sort of wonder how they'd make it work live – I know from bitter experience how hard it is to make electronic music mix well in concert. Especially when you're trying to create an atmosphere in a mostly-empty church hall to your mum and a stray dog. It either sounds like a backing tape with you doing karaoke over the top (which it probably is after all) or it just sounds like a clamorous mush. Which is a total cow, because the idea of mega soundscapes filling the night with sonic possibilities is a seductive one – electronic music should be the biggest kind of live music event, to my mind. Never mind, eh, you can always enjoy it properly on your iPod afterwards.
So, as we queued to get into the recently revamped venue and gazed around inside to see how they'd refurbished the Victorian space, I think Mike, Emma, Caroline and I all secretly wondered if everyone else buying tickets thought we were there to drive the youth group minibuses. But we continue to live in faithful Post Rave Nostalgic denial, as dictated by our demographic, and just enjoyed the DJ set – Noisia (I think – who knows what Mr or Mrs Noisia actually looks like, given that no-one ever introduces a DJ set) played some great mixes of electro tunes new and old along with a comfortable blend of lovely drum'n'bass buff-differy. Justice and The Prodigy and all kinds of things I vaguely recognised – all proper electronic music to my mind; groovy and cleverly built. We were all jigging about and grinning a lot as the vaulted old theatre filled and filled.
I looked at Mike and smiled. He and I were swapping musical reference points as usual and I suddenly thought how nice it was to be still doing so after nearly twenty-five years. Then I dropped my smile when it occured to me these reference points hadn't changed much in twenty-five years.
Eventually, the floor below us was a heaving mass of hormonal youth. As the stage finally dimmed and everyone went bonkers, Caroline thought it looked like a renaissance painting of Dante's hell – a dark sea of writhing limbs and red light.
It went off, proper. People were crowd surfing all night and being proudly pulled out of the front by bouncers, while Pendulum's MC did what all MCs do – which was basically: wander around saying 'Are you having a nice time? Sorry, what was that?' loudly, while the musicians who were obviously all too nervous to do any of this themselves, just made a wall of energetic noise.
The two guitarists clearly thought they were simply in a rock band – tight-trousered Mossop & Keenrick ball-stretching oratory stance and all – and the keyboard chap/undoubted production brains of the outfit sheepishly pushed buttons between Axel F-style synth riffery. Meanwhile, the drummer just sucker-punched the 165bpm tempo all night.
It was just very cool. And very ramped. And very enjoyable fun, thanks chaps. It's true, sadly, that you'd have had no idea as a newcomer to Pendulum's oeuvre that they actually made finely-crafted electronic soundscapes of melody and poise, and you'd be hard pushed for some of the tracks to even pick out the face-slapping big fat riffs they're famous for – the mix was mostly a wall of noise. Everyone kind of looked like they were miming in a sea of midrange for much of it, apart from the drummer and the MC who both sounded energetically clear, cool and bang-on. And really, this was all anyone wanted.
Top show; brilliant music hidden in it, with a couple of particularly nice musical moments breaking through the mix. Had a great time.
And best of all, Caroline is finally converted. She finally gets Drum'n'bass. I said: "Yes, darling, the genre's double-time reggae heritage creates an irresistable hip-swinging hypno-saucery that builds the kind of wild-eyed build-ups, break-downs, switches and releases that the rest of Dance music can only aspire to."
She just grinned and said: "Buff diff, baby."
So, lastnight we went out. Just for fun.
I know – mid-week madness for two hard-working poppets like us. And we were, of course, already sleep-deprived from Caroline's usual Wednesday late-nighter from London – and Mike, who's idea it was, had to be up at five the next morning to do his morning radio show (gratemate), the crazy boy. But when you discover that stadium drum'n'bassers, Pendulum, are doing a live show right in your back yard at the Academy – sorry, the Opera House – it's not so daft to give your slumbers a bit of a dent for such a big beat treat.
The band's debut album, Hold your colour, is as much rocked-up, riff-tastic fun as it is sophisticated style statement. Sort of Apollo 440 for the naughties, if that means anything; all very nicely put together and so hot right now. But I did sort of wonder how they'd make it work live – I know from bitter experience how hard it is to make electronic music mix well in concert. Especially when you're trying to create an atmosphere in a mostly-empty church hall to your mum and a stray dog. It either sounds like a backing tape with you doing karaoke over the top (which it probably is after all) or it just sounds like a clamorous mush. Which is a total cow, because the idea of mega soundscapes filling the night with sonic possibilities is a seductive one – electronic music should be the biggest kind of live music event, to my mind. Never mind, eh, you can always enjoy it properly on your iPod afterwards.
So, as we queued to get into the recently revamped venue and gazed around inside to see how they'd refurbished the Victorian space, I think Mike, Emma, Caroline and I all secretly wondered if everyone else buying tickets thought we were there to drive the youth group minibuses. But we continue to live in faithful Post Rave Nostalgic denial, as dictated by our demographic, and just enjoyed the DJ set – Noisia (I think – who knows what Mr or Mrs Noisia actually looks like, given that no-one ever introduces a DJ set) played some great mixes of electro tunes new and old along with a comfortable blend of lovely drum'n'bass buff-differy. Justice and The Prodigy and all kinds of things I vaguely recognised – all proper electronic music to my mind; groovy and cleverly built. We were all jigging about and grinning a lot as the vaulted old theatre filled and filled.
I looked at Mike and smiled. He and I were swapping musical reference points as usual and I suddenly thought how nice it was to be still doing so after nearly twenty-five years. Then I dropped my smile when it occured to me these reference points hadn't changed much in twenty-five years.
Eventually, the floor below us was a heaving mass of hormonal youth. As the stage finally dimmed and everyone went bonkers, Caroline thought it looked like a renaissance painting of Dante's hell – a dark sea of writhing limbs and red light.
It went off, proper. People were crowd surfing all night and being proudly pulled out of the front by bouncers, while Pendulum's MC did what all MCs do – which was basically: wander around saying 'Are you having a nice time? Sorry, what was that?' loudly, while the musicians who were obviously all too nervous to do any of this themselves, just made a wall of energetic noise.
The two guitarists clearly thought they were simply in a rock band – tight-trousered Mossop & Keenrick ball-stretching oratory stance and all – and the keyboard chap/undoubted production brains of the outfit sheepishly pushed buttons between Axel F-style synth riffery. Meanwhile, the drummer just sucker-punched the 165bpm tempo all night.
It was just very cool. And very ramped. And very enjoyable fun, thanks chaps. It's true, sadly, that you'd have had no idea as a newcomer to Pendulum's oeuvre that they actually made finely-crafted electronic soundscapes of melody and poise, and you'd be hard pushed for some of the tracks to even pick out the face-slapping big fat riffs they're famous for – the mix was mostly a wall of noise. Everyone kind of looked like they were miming in a sea of midrange for much of it, apart from the drummer and the MC who both sounded energetically clear, cool and bang-on. And really, this was all anyone wanted.
Top show; brilliant music hidden in it, with a couple of particularly nice musical moments breaking through the mix. Had a great time.
And best of all, Caroline is finally converted. She finally gets Drum'n'bass. I said: "Yes, darling, the genre's double-time reggae heritage creates an irresistable hip-swinging hypno-saucery that builds the kind of wild-eyed build-ups, break-downs, switches and releases that the rest of Dance music can only aspire to."
She just grinned and said: "Buff diff, baby."
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Autumn colours, winter blues.
Autumn colours, winter blues.
Weird. Worrying? Welcome; Momo isn't a frenzy of screams and clamours and phone calls and general jumpings up and down. I don't think I've had such a civilised week in two years.
Of course the studio never has nothing happening in it. I'm still trying to think of a proper ending-in-o suffix for the new branch of the business that Caroline has established – she's annexed half the space, technology, time and effort of the company to studying Urban Design but I'm blowed if I can make it fit the brand properly. I will – have no fear – this kind of creative time-wasting is what I'm clearly best at.
But despite her mad deadlines and my pile of things to do at all times, we took off a whole day on Sunday. Just sort of happened. And what a day to go for a walk in the forest. Just think:
Reasons Why We Live Here
(absence of mountain vistas and a decent music scene not withstanding)
1: People who are prepared to look past our character flaws and invite us in for tea live here.
2: We own a flat here and it makes sense to live in it.
3: The New Forest is cycling distance away and eye-wateringly pretty at this time of year.
Yes, it's true. We went for a walk in the Autumn sunshine from Standing Hat near Brockenhurst and the trees and the colours and the light and the air and the relaxed beauty restoredeth the souls. I just so bloody love living here sometimes. Most times. Been grateful since I was a kid, in fact. Because all this niceness never takes you far from a shop or a rail link to London.
Sad to say that Mum and Dad, however, have been feeling more wintery than back-to-school chirpy. Mum has been badly ill since Dad came back from hospital. Been a cyclical thing all year and the doctors don't yet know what it is. Poor things are so down about everything and I don't at all blame them. They were hoping to get out into the forest themselves this week but I suspect it didn't happen. Shame. They need a little soul-restoring more than many at the moment.
Going round there now, in fact. Because, obviously, they're a pretty big reason why we live here too.
Weird. Worrying? Welcome; Momo isn't a frenzy of screams and clamours and phone calls and general jumpings up and down. I don't think I've had such a civilised week in two years.
Of course the studio never has nothing happening in it. I'm still trying to think of a proper ending-in-o suffix for the new branch of the business that Caroline has established – she's annexed half the space, technology, time and effort of the company to studying Urban Design but I'm blowed if I can make it fit the brand properly. I will – have no fear – this kind of creative time-wasting is what I'm clearly best at.
But despite her mad deadlines and my pile of things to do at all times, we took off a whole day on Sunday. Just sort of happened. And what a day to go for a walk in the forest. Just think:
Reasons Why We Live Here
(absence of mountain vistas and a decent music scene not withstanding)
1: People who are prepared to look past our character flaws and invite us in for tea live here.
2: We own a flat here and it makes sense to live in it.
3: The New Forest is cycling distance away and eye-wateringly pretty at this time of year.
Yes, it's true. We went for a walk in the Autumn sunshine from Standing Hat near Brockenhurst and the trees and the colours and the light and the air and the relaxed beauty restoredeth the souls. I just so bloody love living here sometimes. Most times. Been grateful since I was a kid, in fact. Because all this niceness never takes you far from a shop or a rail link to London.
Sad to say that Mum and Dad, however, have been feeling more wintery than back-to-school chirpy. Mum has been badly ill since Dad came back from hospital. Been a cyclical thing all year and the doctors don't yet know what it is. Poor things are so down about everything and I don't at all blame them. They were hoping to get out into the forest themselves this week but I suspect it didn't happen. Shame. They need a little soul-restoring more than many at the moment.
Going round there now, in fact. Because, obviously, they're a pretty big reason why we live here too.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Musical mirth.
Musical mirth.
(Before I start – what a smug title that is. I mean, it's like something a retired, specialist magazine contributor would come up with; imagines it's clever and wry but is actually a bit up itself in a fairly boring way. I apologise, if you care; it was conveniently lazy.)
ANYway.
Two quick thoughts related to music and maybe worth some mirth. One: saw a fab title for a band at the weekend. Was actually a Daily Echo newsagents' headline hoarding all over town but I'd pay to see this undoubtedly hairy, sullen, noisy outfit if they appeared on the rosta at Mr Kyps – Sex Trade Police Raid. STPR to their fans. Not that I instantly bipass concern at local social problems for amusing myself with words of course.
Two: WHO, I mean WHO thought that the King of Saudi Arabia should be heralded onto British tarmac – as he and forty tons of baggage and entourage streamed across our robustly upholstered diplomatic red carpet all afternoon – WITH DARTH VADER'S THEME FROM THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! Did you HEAR? (I'm running out of typographic enhancements to convey my disbelief.) Jeepers. Is the royal band of the Coldstream Guards trying to make a walloping satirical point before they're hastily dispatched to the Falklands indefinitely? 'Here comes the sinister leader of an evil Empire' music ? I mean ?
I would like to launch into a detailed debate with myself about the rights and wrongs of this visit of course, but I just know I'd never get past the patently fake facial disguise issues that distress the international diplomatic community so. Besides, I need to talk to my wife as she walks the lonely late night streets of London. Poor sausage sounds exhausted.
Perhaps STPR will turn out to have a social conscience and put sarcastic satirical lyrics to an angry indie version of John Williams' tune for Mr Vader.
Crikey, I should just set this up, shouldn't I?
Auditions in a fortnight people. Not being funny.
(Before I start – what a smug title that is. I mean, it's like something a retired, specialist magazine contributor would come up with; imagines it's clever and wry but is actually a bit up itself in a fairly boring way. I apologise, if you care; it was conveniently lazy.)
ANYway.
Two quick thoughts related to music and maybe worth some mirth. One: saw a fab title for a band at the weekend. Was actually a Daily Echo newsagents' headline hoarding all over town but I'd pay to see this undoubtedly hairy, sullen, noisy outfit if they appeared on the rosta at Mr Kyps – Sex Trade Police Raid. STPR to their fans. Not that I instantly bipass concern at local social problems for amusing myself with words of course.
Two: WHO, I mean WHO thought that the King of Saudi Arabia should be heralded onto British tarmac – as he and forty tons of baggage and entourage streamed across our robustly upholstered diplomatic red carpet all afternoon – WITH DARTH VADER'S THEME FROM THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! Did you HEAR? (I'm running out of typographic enhancements to convey my disbelief.) Jeepers. Is the royal band of the Coldstream Guards trying to make a walloping satirical point before they're hastily dispatched to the Falklands indefinitely? 'Here comes the sinister leader of an evil Empire' music ? I mean ?
I would like to launch into a detailed debate with myself about the rights and wrongs of this visit of course, but I just know I'd never get past the patently fake facial disguise issues that distress the international diplomatic community so. Besides, I need to talk to my wife as she walks the lonely late night streets of London. Poor sausage sounds exhausted.
Perhaps STPR will turn out to have a social conscience and put sarcastic satirical lyrics to an angry indie version of John Williams' tune for Mr Vader.
Crikey, I should just set this up, shouldn't I?
Auditions in a fortnight people. Not being funny.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Dad is home.
Dad is home.
Simple headline, to the point – I've just spoken with Dad who has been finally let out of Bournemouth hospital this afternoon. He said to me on Saturday that the rather more walloping meds they'd started him on already seemed to be having an effect, but a chest x-ray this morning apparently confirmed it – he's improving. Slowly.
He's tired, of course. Hospital is all at once a long time in bed and a long time without proper sleep. People all around you are off-puttingly sick it seems. Falling over noisily and re-enacting Sean of the dead in the middle of the night with little consideration for others. And, as far as I can tell, the tea trolley visits the ward on an hourly cycle, morning, noon and night.
Still, the significant answer to many people's prayers appears to be that they've properly diagnosed and prescribed, at last. I'm hoping it will give Mum a little mental rest too. But, of course, Dad is home – so maybe we need to pray for the woman all the more.
Will keep you posted.
x
Simple headline, to the point – I've just spoken with Dad who has been finally let out of Bournemouth hospital this afternoon. He said to me on Saturday that the rather more walloping meds they'd started him on already seemed to be having an effect, but a chest x-ray this morning apparently confirmed it – he's improving. Slowly.
He's tired, of course. Hospital is all at once a long time in bed and a long time without proper sleep. People all around you are off-puttingly sick it seems. Falling over noisily and re-enacting Sean of the dead in the middle of the night with little consideration for others. And, as far as I can tell, the tea trolley visits the ward on an hourly cycle, morning, noon and night.
Still, the significant answer to many people's prayers appears to be that they've properly diagnosed and prescribed, at last. I'm hoping it will give Mum a little mental rest too. But, of course, Dad is home – so maybe we need to pray for the woman all the more.
Will keep you posted.
x
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Late words, old tunes. And the old man.
Late words, old tunes. And the old man.
No, I shouldn't be up. Amazing how hard it can be to knuckle down during daylight hours sometimes, but the late-night glow of the studio jelly lamps has enticed me to keep going with a particular job that needs sending to press tomorrow. Daft. But the wife's away for a second night.
One reason I'm at the Mac late is that I saw Dad again tonight. Yesterday he was looking almost chipper – rested, tested and no, not bare-breasted, a little reassured that the shadows on his lungs were probably not nearly as sinister as the GP's suspicions that had shocked him into hospital. However, today, on the phone, he sounded very down after having had a Funny Turn. One of the nurses had to help him back to his bed from the washroom and I think he was pretty worried by it.
By the time I saw him in the evening, though, he seemed more himself again. Frantic ECG's and blood pressure tests and yet more blood tests showed his heart and system in bizarrely fine fettle.
"You're in good shape, Mr Peach" said the young doctor, staring quizically at the the machines strapped to my pale-looking Dad.
"Good shape?" I can hear him saying, "Good shape? But I feel like I'm about to meet my maker?"
"Yes I know" replied the doctor with a cursory smile, "– odd, isn't it?"
I wasn't there, of course, but this was the gist. What did come out of it though, is that they've ascertained that the shadows on his lungs are likely to be a build up of fluid – and that's what's causing his funny turns. Probably not directly a heart thing. This might be progress.
Mind you, a potentially life-threatening condition is a potentially life-threatening condition, I guess – who cares what they'll end up feeling confident about putting on your coroner's report?
And this does nothing to pin down exactly what is wrong with other issues he's dealing with. One thing I'd like to see really is hospital consultants actually consulting one another…
---
Funny, as a nice diversion, I had a note from Tim Colthup last week telling me he's been listening to an old album of mine – Outrider. What a mate, eh? I mean, what a mate. Made me pull it off a forgotten shelf and listen to it – sat there in bed last night, headphones on in the dark like a teenager. 1995 I recorded that album; a dozen years ago. And, though I've always had a special, vaguely prophetic-feeling affection for that album in particular, it does now seem like another time and mindset, listening to it.
Not to be put off such splendidly distracting whimsy, however, it made me dig out the follow-up album, Worship the system – 1997. And then a couple of live recordings from the same time. And then a couple of old DATs of random stuff from as far back.
I can't help feeling a strange affection for all of it, actually; for the small truckload of tunes and songs I laboured over in the pre-Momo years. The confidence and the creative youth mixed into those pieces; bless me. I had more of a different head on my shoulders then than I had previously realised. Plenty of worthy work along the way I think, but it certainly belongs behind me, paved into the little track I've tromped through the daisies.
You see? Whimsy.
I'm not a big look-backer. Prefer to look forward, generally. But, as I prepare to hit the sack at last, I am distressed to consider that the finest revelation tonight was from a DAT from '98 or so – and the coolest version of the Knight Rider theme I've ever heard. I'd completely forgotten it. I arranged it, I recall, for guitar legend chum Greame – had a funny thing about it at the time it seems.
So there you are. My father is pondering lying in state and I'm wondering if my finest musical hour in the first twelve years of my ignominious recording career was an electro cover of the Knight Rider theme. Goodness, my Dad feels proud for good reason.
Think I'm ready for some new tunes now.
No, I shouldn't be up. Amazing how hard it can be to knuckle down during daylight hours sometimes, but the late-night glow of the studio jelly lamps has enticed me to keep going with a particular job that needs sending to press tomorrow. Daft. But the wife's away for a second night.
One reason I'm at the Mac late is that I saw Dad again tonight. Yesterday he was looking almost chipper – rested, tested and no, not bare-breasted, a little reassured that the shadows on his lungs were probably not nearly as sinister as the GP's suspicions that had shocked him into hospital. However, today, on the phone, he sounded very down after having had a Funny Turn. One of the nurses had to help him back to his bed from the washroom and I think he was pretty worried by it.
By the time I saw him in the evening, though, he seemed more himself again. Frantic ECG's and blood pressure tests and yet more blood tests showed his heart and system in bizarrely fine fettle.
"You're in good shape, Mr Peach" said the young doctor, staring quizically at the the machines strapped to my pale-looking Dad.
"Good shape?" I can hear him saying, "Good shape? But I feel like I'm about to meet my maker?"
"Yes I know" replied the doctor with a cursory smile, "– odd, isn't it?"
I wasn't there, of course, but this was the gist. What did come out of it though, is that they've ascertained that the shadows on his lungs are likely to be a build up of fluid – and that's what's causing his funny turns. Probably not directly a heart thing. This might be progress.
Mind you, a potentially life-threatening condition is a potentially life-threatening condition, I guess – who cares what they'll end up feeling confident about putting on your coroner's report?
And this does nothing to pin down exactly what is wrong with other issues he's dealing with. One thing I'd like to see really is hospital consultants actually consulting one another…
---
Funny, as a nice diversion, I had a note from Tim Colthup last week telling me he's been listening to an old album of mine – Outrider. What a mate, eh? I mean, what a mate. Made me pull it off a forgotten shelf and listen to it – sat there in bed last night, headphones on in the dark like a teenager. 1995 I recorded that album; a dozen years ago. And, though I've always had a special, vaguely prophetic-feeling affection for that album in particular, it does now seem like another time and mindset, listening to it.
Not to be put off such splendidly distracting whimsy, however, it made me dig out the follow-up album, Worship the system – 1997. And then a couple of live recordings from the same time. And then a couple of old DATs of random stuff from as far back.
I can't help feeling a strange affection for all of it, actually; for the small truckload of tunes and songs I laboured over in the pre-Momo years. The confidence and the creative youth mixed into those pieces; bless me. I had more of a different head on my shoulders then than I had previously realised. Plenty of worthy work along the way I think, but it certainly belongs behind me, paved into the little track I've tromped through the daisies.
You see? Whimsy.
I'm not a big look-backer. Prefer to look forward, generally. But, as I prepare to hit the sack at last, I am distressed to consider that the finest revelation tonight was from a DAT from '98 or so – and the coolest version of the Knight Rider theme I've ever heard. I'd completely forgotten it. I arranged it, I recall, for guitar legend chum Greame – had a funny thing about it at the time it seems.
So there you are. My father is pondering lying in state and I'm wondering if my finest musical hour in the first twelve years of my ignominious recording career was an electro cover of the Knight Rider theme. Goodness, my Dad feels proud for good reason.
Think I'm ready for some new tunes now.
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